Early Morning Musings

Friday, October 18, 2013 musing...

I don’t like chaos. I don’t like crowds because I don’t like fighting blindly for a spot no one owns. I don’t like hurt feelings or dissension so sometimes I just walk away before I can do unto others worse than they have done to me. I don’t like being afraid but I love to be alone which is where fear usually looks for me. I don’t like being fake but I understand its usefulness as a mask to hide behind. I hate being lied to but sometimes it’s better than confronting the truth that I really don’t want to know. I hate being paranoid but only at the helm of paranoia do I seek clarity. I don’t like digs and will only entertain blatant disregard for a short time. I don’t like cowards and so I speak my peace lest I become all the things I despise because no matter what, I do like me.

***

The word love is so overused that is has become saturated and now it tastes like nothing.

***

My childhood super sucked and I took that shit like a soldier. Here’s the thing, today I own—don’t cross the line because I’m not a kid anymore.

***

Is love not more than a #hashtag?

***

When you build a wall to protect yourself against one person be warned--everyone is now out there except for you.

***

I have come to an understanding with myself that I will only excuse bad behavior if you directly apologize for it. No more just waving off how I feel for the sake of the perp's feelings. You don't have to grovel, but you do have to say, I'm sorry. Repeat offenders get let off too easy which leads to repeat victims. 

"When you ask for forgiveness it SHOULD be a humiliating and humbling experience so you won't forget NOT to do it again." - Pastor David Israel Madison