The Trials of Raising a Man...Pt I

By the time my words meet reality

You are already a man to be
Great king in the making
I have given you all of me
Merely a woman,
Pouring until there is nothing left

Run with this opportunity...

Aspire High. Stand tall

You are a Man.

Lean on my shoulders,

When you doubt what to do

Know Mom will pray

but, You should too

and, let God guide you

I love you!

Raising J, is the most beautiful, arduous task I have ever had the pleasure of performing. So many times I've wanted to give up, because I wasn't getting my way, or better yet my desired result. But who would be there to build him up, the way only a mother can. I'm still confused, but I look at the vision of what I think a man is, and build towards that... to date I have a great son. I mean, if I don't think he's great who would, or more importantly...would he?

Everyday I watch him grow just a little bit more. He ventures a little bit farther away. It won't be long now, I think to myself. He no longer holds on to my belt loop, every once in a while he looks over his shoulder for Mommy's approval. Whew, that was close, my baby, my son, my man child, he still needs me. I hug myself gently, but sooner than I can imagine I will be all I have. We are both preparing for the parting. I do not want him to be so attached, that he would stay. I believe that men must know how to make their own way in this world. There are no exceptions, no excuses are allowed for men.

He is changing so fast, I race to keep up. Allowing him to change begins with me. So, I've begun with the way I talk to him. The way I treat him. I have to be mindful of his self-esteem, his dreams, and the way he sees me, the first lady of his life. Am I the woman I want him to bring home to me? Just one of those things I think about frequently.

Sometimes when we clown around, I feel his strength. His power growing, and he notices amazed at himself. But wait my son, I see you are taller than me and developing quickly but please do not forget I am the boss. I remind him more often now than ever. I am your mother, your sole provider and somewhere way down the line, your friend. To me, it's like mixing business with pleasure... once you cross the line, it's hell getting your professionalism back. Of course spankings and frequent chastisings are out of the question at this point, he is huge. I win only when I challenge his mind to think reasonably and appeal to his sensitive side. More explanations are necessary, but I'm glad he trusts me enough to ask ME. I have moved from talking to him to conversing with him. And more God is imperative.

Some things I have to repeat like a broken record. I allow him to misplace them in his busy mind, these lessons, only because I know...that like me in my youth, he will remember later and aren't those jewels from Grandma more precious, more meaningful today than ever.. It's funny how the right words come back just when you need them most. My son will be no exception.

• Know God for yourself, one day you will have to cover your family!
• Mom is in charge. Period
• When I say failure... he finishes with..is not an option. Exactly!
• You are a leader, might as well get used to it and start now
• Be gentle with little kids, you were once that small
• Be a friend to the friendless, we all share this future
• Men shouldn't talk about people or gossip, it's a sign of weakness & insecurity. Do you know who you are, well that's all that matters.
• Did you hear the instructions, or do you like running around in circles
• Are we a team, or two separate entities, well let's get on the same page
• Never give me a gift that is not wrapped, his wife will appreciate that ;)
• You are smart, You are beautiful, if you believe it so will everyone else
• What do you want to do, then do it
• If you don't practice/prepare, you will fail is that the result you want
• I know you don't have your own Dad, it's that much more important that you be what you never had, especially since you know what it feels like.
• Everything I am not, you can be let Mom's mistakes give you a head start
• Don't lie, it opens the door to theft, murder, cheating, etc, none of which are Mommy supported activities
• Don't just say ok, what is your opinion? Have one and Stand on it
• Pay attention to what is going on around you, It's not all about you
• I don't want to hear any excuses, or complaints unless you need my opinion and/or have thought about a resolution
• Who said no again? Well, who the hell is that?
• In life you get what you deserve. Do you think you deserve this?
• Character is hard to repair, once flawed publicly, even at home
• Sometimes Mom has it ALL wrong, please accept my apology. I am a woman trying to raise a Great man...

But as I interpret the bible to say, train up a child in the way he should go... Isn't he already a child, and hasn't he mastered being a child? Therefore, aren't my instructions to train him up to be a man...at least I'm trying..the best I can as a woman!

Fellas, Us ladies would really love your feedback on this one.