I Am Not Afraid

     I remember when I was afraid of everything. I was afraid of riding a bike. I was afraid of water (I still am). I was afraid of the monkey bars, I never learned to twirl under and over like my friends. I was afraid of dogs, cats, snakes, spiders, like I said—everything. Including my own voice. 

Do you want to know something strange? I have never, ever been afraid of people. There were some people that I should have been afraid of. Like the boy that lived across the street, he was older than me. He was bigger than me. He took my baby sister into his clubhouse and dared me come in. I kicked his clubhouse repeatedly. He came out and beat me up. The white of my eye bled red and on top of that he gave me a nice black and green shiner. Whatever! The important part of the story is that he gave me back my little sister.

Like I said before, I have never, ever been afraid of people. I will confront people and situations that I think, and I’m no saint, are wrong. I can’t help it. It’s who I am. You see God created me, He fashioned me from His very own breath. Before I knew the word, the word lived in me, dormant, but it was there. As a child, I didn’t know that the word said, “whom shall I fear?” Psalm 27:1. Because I know today, how much stronger do you think I am now? Because you know, how much stronger are you?

For the last time, I have never been afraid of people, nor the generational curses we carry within us. I have had some really ugly experiences lately that have tested my faith and what I know to be the truth. From those experiences, I decided that I have had enough, it's time to raise my voice even louder. You see, The Truth As I See It has opened doors for other hurting people to reach out to me, to touch someone tangible that can relate and understand. I can't tell you how many times since this book has come out that I've heard, "I understand, I can relate, ME TOO! Now what do I do?" about the poems that were especially hard for me to write. I've heard alot of these comments from our youth. The time is now for us to stop being afraid of the demons of our ancestors. Don't be afraid to halt the haunting of our future by speaking up today. Say what is true, now! Don't live blanketed in fear, so afraid to admit and commit to those you have wronged that you become a living—breathing lie. Fear won't solve the problems of our generation, but the truth will.

In the meantime, if you own a copy of THE TRUTH AS I SEE IT: In Poetry & Prose, I’d like for you to read the following: I Am Not Afraid (p. 22) & Deuteronomy (p. 98). As I go back and browse through The Truth, I begin to envision clearly God’s plan for me. He laid it out like the perfect blue print. You see, I thought I was just writing a stimulating book of poetry, I was actually writing my destiny! I found my voice and I know what to do with it. The life I've lived will not be in vain.

I conquered fear a long time ago
I stood in my closet surrounded by weeping skeletons
Ferocious ghosts of ancestors past
Weary from their weight
I carried their burdens
So, I packed
I packed them
Laid them to rest
Neatly in their respective graves
Oh, how I prayed
Prayed over restless souls
I am not afraid
Of me anymore.

It’s time to take back our families, our children, and our friends. Are you still with me? Well, let’s go to work then!
Turn off the faucet to fear.
Don’t be afraid.

Psalms 27:1
The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?


Sherrice said...

As one who recently overcame the spirit of fear, the information in this post speaks to the depths of my soul. I will make sure that the faucet stays off. Thanks for sharing with us!

Nakia, a Social Butterfly said...

Me too Sherrice! I refuse to live my life under the cloak of fear instead of under the covering of solace.