Yesterday, you are hereby . . . served

The truth … changes daily. Yesterday I was a victim—maybe. Today I am a threat—definitely.

Yesterday, I experienced one of the most gut wrenching—knock down—drag out bouts with satan ever. Yikes, he plays dirty. I’m going to write in terms of yesterday although it was more of a brief spell in hell. For a minute there, I could have easily been mistaken for Job, whose name means; persecuted and afflicted. Yes, that was exactly how I felt—persecuted into utter affliction. Yesterday, I fell to my knees and moaned in prayer. My heart was so broken that I could only call on Him through a series of inaudible prayers. My truth was on trial and my character was called into question. My purpose, my intent was snatched from my soul like a knife from a decaying carcass and misconstrued into a tangled ball of lies. I was left only to face the decision, whether to either eat my own words as they were served cold on a plate of deception or go hungry. The bitterness of yesterday impaled on my tongue convinced me to change my name to Job. Job 2:24-26 For sighing comes to me instead of food; my groans pour out like water. What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil."

Today, I woke up and felt renewed. For the first day in a series of consecutive dreadful days, I have hope. The dim light at the end of the tunnel beckons for me to come nearer. Something inside of me dares me to respond to the pain and anger of betrayal differently, not with tears—but with my feet dancing to a sweet victory that I have yet to see materialize in front of me. I woke up feeling as though I had already won even as yesterday laughed and continued to taunt me. However, the minute today threatens to remind me of yesterday, I will remember that I am strong. Today is but a single verse in the song that makes up my life. I'll be damned if my plan isn't to get back up. Today, mistake me for Maya Angelou if you will. Still I Rise: Just like moons and like suns, With the certainty of tides, Just like hopes springing high, Still I'll rise. Did you want to see me broken? Bowed head and lowered eyes? Shoulders falling down like teardrops. Weakened by my soulful cries ... I rise. I rise.

Tomorrow, my woes will tremble with fear just because I had the nerve to quiver, but, not fall. I will have no time to relish the last laugh as I put my worry on notice. I'll be back and that is what's important. It's only right that I am considered a threat. I Am a Tree so imposing comes naturally to me. No, I am not cocky, you see, God has already promised me a full and fruitful life so whom shall I fear? Do not mistake me for one that will beg and scrounge on my knees. Puh-lease, that is not good enough for me, the bonifide and verified daughter of a King. The promise of my life is to stand tall, billowing in the face of any and all adversity. Dear worry … you are hereby served for harrassing me. Dear affliction … you are hereby served. Dear persecution … you are hereby served. Dear twins (pain & anger, you look so much alike that I can hardly tell you apart) … you are both hereby served. Dear yesterday, it’s too late to apologize to me, you are hereby served. Dear today ... I am almost over you, you are also hereby served. Dear tomorrow, I will be the freed, Nakia R. Laushaul, completely covering the ground I stand on while my Father heads the retribution trial for the wrongs done to me. I Am A Tree: My roots are the only thing keeping this TREE standing. Hey. Hey. You in the jungle watch out for this TREE. Because if mishandled, I will let one of my mighty branches fall, Encase you in a root and crush you. Your mind your spirit and your will. I am not afraid. I am a TREE. TREEs don’t run.They stand still. TREEs are born free. Live free. Die free. I know secretly you want to be a TREE just like me. Come on. Think about it. Think real hard and tell me the last time you heard a TREE apologize for being a TREE.

CASE CLOSED.