Happy Birthday Dakota. I Miss Your Life...

The truth is ... There hasn't been a day since January 1st that I haven't thought of you. I am still struggling with acceptance, even though the reality of you being gone is painfully obvious. There is a huge void where your love and happiness used to be and way into the quiet there's this chaos that I don't know what to do with after the clock just stopped. I cherish every single memory like gold and occasionally, I enjoy a giggle when I think about all the wonderful things I miss about you.

1. I miss present time. You gave with much more excitement and enthusiasm than you received.
2. I miss seeing you wobble around the house, tiny feet slipping and sliding in my heels. Lol. I couldn't get my shoes off fast enough in order for you to put them on.
3. I miss seeing your eyes grow big when you'd see sweets.
4. I miss snuggling with you, because you were my baby.
5. I miss how you thought everything I did was good. You thought I was better than I am which encouraged me to live up to your high expectations because you were watching so closely.
6. I miss watching you be bold--your energy was contagious.
7. I miss watching you with Savannah and Austin, you were everything a little sister was supposed to be.
8. I miss watching you and J play, fight and make-up. You thought you were as tough as the big boys and you were.
9. I miss hearing you say, "I love you Kiki." It's funny how I still hear the words in your voice in my head and I find myself looking around for you because the distinct sound of your voice is too clear not to be real.
10. I miss receiving little notes from you and I wish that I had saved every last one of them; silly me for thinking that there would always be more. More words. More time. More laughs. More love. More of you.

I know that I am not alone and so many people miss you, especially your parents. And today on your birthday--we're all thinking of you and wishing for one more piece of cake and more peace...period.






**Currently there is a fundraiser to help build a park in Dakota's honor at Emmott Elementary School in Houston, Texas. Please check out Project Playground http://www.razoo.com/story/Project-Playground for more information or to donate.**







5 comments:

Elle Wright said...

Lovely post!

Unknown said...

Right there with you Kiki... Love you

Lydia said...

Beautiful post, Nakia!

Cheryl Tardif said...

Hugs!!

From one mommy of an angel to another.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.