Happy Birthday Dakota. I Miss Your Life...

The truth is ... There hasn't been a day since January 1st that I haven't thought of you. I am still struggling with acceptance, even though the reality of you being gone is painfully obvious. There is a huge void where your love and happiness used to be and way into the quiet there's this chaos that I don't know what to do with after the clock just stopped. I cherish every single memory like gold and occasionally, I enjoy a giggle when I think about all the wonderful things I miss about you.

1. I miss present time. You gave with much more excitement and enthusiasm than you received.
2. I miss seeing you wobble around the house, tiny feet slipping and sliding in my heels. Lol. I couldn't get my shoes off fast enough in order for you to put them on.
3. I miss seeing your eyes grow big when you'd see sweets.
4. I miss snuggling with you, because you were my baby.
5. I miss how you thought everything I did was good. You thought I was better than I am which encouraged me to live up to your high expectations because you were watching so closely.
6. I miss watching you be bold--your energy was contagious.
7. I miss watching you with Savannah and Austin, you were everything a little sister was supposed to be.
8. I miss watching you and J play, fight and make-up. You thought you were as tough as the big boys and you were.

9. I miss hearing you say, "I love you Kiki." It's funny how I still hear the words in your voice in my head and I find myself looking around for you because the distinct sound of your voice is too clear not to be real.
10. I miss receiving little notes from you and I wish that I had saved every last one of them; silly me for thinking that there would always be more. More words. More time. More laughs. More love. More of you.

I know that I am not alone and so many people miss you, especially your parents. And today on your birthday--we're all thinking of you and wishing for one more piece of cake and more peace...period.

**Currently there is a fundraiser to help build a park in Dakota's honor at Emmott Elementary School in Houston, Texas. Please check out Project Playground http://www.razoo.com/story/Project-Playground for more information or to donate.**